Think about Ron Stoppable from the Kim Possible TV series (if you’ve never seen it, here’s the link to buy an episode for $3.00). Ron is completely friend zoned by Kim from day one, but they’re still best friends. They go on all sorts of adventures saving the world from villains… And Ron is terrified the whole time. He’s afraid to fight, afraid to take chances and risks, and afraid to tell Kim how he feels. Gathering the courage to have the life you want is often paralyzing and seemingly impossible, but there are people who do it everyday.
Aileen Xu, the creator of The Lavendaire Lifestyle is one of those people. The Lavendaire Lifestyle is a podcast about personal growth and lifestyle design. Although Aileen wasn’t friend zoned and saving the world from villains, she was paralyzed by fear, confusion, and self-doubt that took a long time for her to overcome. Aileen’s goal is to help her listeners become artists of life by inspiring them to go after what they truly want. Like I mentioned last week in my post about Megan Tan’s Podcast (Life as Millennials: 4 Concepts We’re Too Familiar With), there are things I don’t agree with Aileen on, but her stories are relatable for people who are just starting out and want to be inspired, motivated, and receive a little advice too.
I listened to 15 episodes of The Lavendaire Lifestyle this week. The first eleven episodes are more structured. They all begin with a story and from there Aileen gives pieces of advice for those types of situations. After those first 11 episodes, they become less structured and she brings on more guest speakers (who are all very interesting!). Aileen tends to give advice that is supposed to fit everyone, but there were some bits I didn’t think were applicable to my life. And that’s okay! This podcast was still entertaining and I was able to snag some of her thoughts that I thought were genuinely profound. You can listen to this podcast on Audible or CastBox.
Here are the main themes I found in the 15 episodes of The Lavendaire Lifestyle that I listened to:
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The first episode of The Lavendaire Lifestyle was about being stronger than your fears and insecurities. Let’s be real, everyone had fears and anxieties about things. Aileen suggests that we let our fears guide us! This was a very different piece of advice than anything I’d been given before. Basically, if you’re scared to do something, then it’s probably what you need to be doing. Facing your fears is how you grow because you’re not going to accomplish anything new or different while in your comfort zone.
Part of having courage is acknowledging that you have gifts. You have to be strong enough to say, “Here I am! I can do this!” Obviously you can still be humble and continue to better yourself and your abilities, but take pride in the fact that you have something to offer the world. We all do. Sometimes we just have to “fake it till you make it!” Aileen suggests that we can have courage just by pretending we have it. Simply show up, believe in yourself, don’t overthink it, and have the mindset that anything can be figured out.
The second theme is being intentional. Every morning when you wake up, you have the power to say, “Today is going to be a good day, regardless of what happens.” One of the guest speakers on the show mentioned that thoughts are like clothes. You can try on different thoughts to see how they make you feel. If they “look bad” or make you feel frumpy, then you can take them off and try on another thought. I absolutely loved that idea, because it shows that thoughts are not permanent and we have the ability to control how we think about different situations. We just need to be intentional about them.
We can also be intentional about the way we think about others. Everyone you meet is a human being that makes mistakes. Since that is the case, there’s always going to be someone that you don’t particularly like or get along with. People will say things that make you angry and upset, but you can’t control what they say and do. You can only be intentional about the way you respond.
There’s a common misconception that you have to hit rock bottom before you can start working on personal development and self-love. That is entirely untrue! Practicing self-love allows you to grow as a person and be honest with yourself. It helps you answer questions like, “What do I truly want in life?” Aileen explains that we have to be honest with ourselves in order to answer this question, and we can’t put on a mask. One of the most profound insights I gained from this podcast was that “you are you naturally, without even trying.” So what does being you look like? Are you constantly trying to play a role, or are you genuinely you?
Another major part of self-love Aileen mentions is loving your body. Easier said than done, but she points out that we need to be grateful for our bodies because they’ve always supported us even if we don’t treat them as well as we should. So how can we care for our bodies without setting extreme fitness and diet goals?
- Find a way to move that gets you excited.
- Give in order to receive. This means thinking of food as fuel and recognizing what your body needs so it can support you.
- Give your body the time, attention and care it needs. Don’t put yourself last. If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others.
The Lavendaire Lifestyle isn’t for everyone. And that’s okay! The point is to find something that gives you courage, helps you be intentional, and promotes self-love. If Ron Stoppable can find his way, so can you.